Particles of Desire


You, smiled with a deathless face
Which my face is showing signs of lowliness feeling bad
Where clearly had a party, was excited for it, death, something new
Wandering, inquisitive elder eyes
Curiosity, turn your head to cough on the younger can-almost-die-now
I’m not ready to go yet, the young guns can really throw them
They have negotiated to split up momentarily, and if you go pee
And I go smoke, you come out to meet me, and I’ll show you
Using only the peripheral resources at our disposal
My impression of motherhood

Monitor machines that fail to proscribe 
Desired outcomes, while I sit ideally back 
To demonstrate a heartbeat
I do her nails, I was sucking at it making these sawtoothed edges
It’s very wet, the body is
I’m not trying to check these ladies out, but if I were a man I would
Sincerely be thinking they would
It’s the making impulse
Do something
And I, will I ever retire

The ladies came back stoned
I did check them out on their way back in from the yard
And when you cough, honey, you collect interest on that high
That’ll be the day
I’m not like them, then or now
Would like to avoid becoming the ‘regular’ off invite
They’ve come itching to retread
Coughing, edging along my edge
Stockings jammed with 8ths and pre-rolls
And a lighter that I’ll painstakingly glue with checkered rhinestones

The sense of humor emerging with age, it’s pivotal for getting by
In unretirement
Asking me to ask myself should I take it
Wanting long to let go
Waiting, enough
All was numb
And I was taken in the mouth
A procession
Puppeted by force
Happy master from below
Places me above, grounded
Just as onlookers in light
Make smoke of you
Erasure riding

I Find Her Very Amusing, I Do


A stroke of bad luck too much phone
Telling you all this because you want to talk about it
Or I’m paying you to dump everything for convenience sake, return
Cold and bleak
It wasn’t a skateboard this time but a suitcase rolling away
Wanted to start over, and I did try
Without mother
Don’t ask

Should I go to Boston a day early, hear Anne Carson, accents, beer?
Now I really know nothing
Nothing at all, and expression
Where you wanted it, some of it anyway,
Looking to do so tonight, anyone?
Sounds Middle English
Only Blue Label, don’t remind me how
we arabs, specifically Lebanese, as you
jest, take our remembrances. So what, it’s always been costly